2.23.2009

Last Night's Dream

I had a strange dream last night. I was working for a state institution that took care of children. While I was watching over one child she was telling me that she was afraid of something. I told her not to worry that Jesus would take care of her. Just then, the director walked up. I figured I wasn't supposed to be talking about my faith with these kids and she told me as such. I told the woman that I was sorry but that it just came out without me thinking.

Again, I was sitting with another child. This one had blonde hair and was about 4 or 5. She had lost both of her parents and was feeling sad about it. Once again, without considering the consequences, was my response to her troubles. I told her that it would be okay because she always has God, her Heavenly Father, to watch over her. As if the director had socks on, she came around the corner and heard every word.

This director, with her blunt hair cut and frumpy sweater, took me to the lady in charge. This woman was new in her job and the three of us went over the rules about sharing our, "social thought" as it was worded, with the children and how it was not allowed. I had not remembered reading that, but I understood. They then told me I was fired.

Before I left, however, I was in a circle with all the children and the directors. The new woman in charge, with long straight hair and not much older than I, was trying to get the attention of one of her favorite girls accross the room from her. When the child finally looked at her, this young director started to sing to her about Jesus. I immediatly looked at the frumpy, sneaky director and said that this was the very reason I was fired.

Everyone felt uncomfortable and, of course, we couldn't discuss it in front of the children. Later I was trying to help a new employee and be sure he saw the rules about not sharing his faith. Then I was walking home in the rain. Tears were streaming down my face and hard sobs coming out of my chest. I knew I didn't need the job, but I was pretty upset. I walked on knowing that my faith in God was strong and that I'd be okay.

2 comments:

  1. Hey, Holly, I was just trying to catch up on your blog posts, and thought this was fascinating. What does it mean to you? Who do the women in the dream remind you of or represent?

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  2. Hmmm...it's been a while since I wrote this and I'd have to reread it to remember. However, the reason I posted it was for "the reader" to interpret. It meant something to me, but I decided not to define it on purpose. :)

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