Proper Parenting

I follow a blog by my friend, Anne Marie (What the Hey?). We had dorm rooms next to each other (my freshman year). She homeschools her children and posted an interesting article on her blog today titled, I Hate Large, Homeschooling Families. It's basically one person's take on raising well-behaved children. The author's blog post started an interesting discussion in the comments that follow. I found the article and the comments very interesting and insightful. If you're going to read it, it will take a while to get through all the comments, so be prepared.

Although I do not homeschool my girls, I do work pretty hard to have well-behaved children. In our family, I am the "mean" one. I make sure there are rules and that those rules are followed. I have to be like this so that I can stay sane. Each person will only tolerate what he or she can handle. However, I am not so mean that we don't have a great time together. There are lots of hugs, singing, dancing and laughing to go along with enforcing the boundaries.

My husband, on the other hand, is not so strict. When he is home, the girls have much more liberty. I begin to go crazy with the amount of whining, crying, helplessness and junk food I have to endure (all to keep them happy). It really makes no sense to me. Giving in to them seems to create more grief and less peace. That being said, I have relaxed because of my husband's example of caring and loving affection towards the girls. I can sometimes miss tender moments because I'm too wrapped up in making sure correct behavior is being learned.

So what's the correct way to raise a child? I don't know. We are all finding our way I guess. It takes a lot of love, a lot of patience and a lot of surrendering to the moment at hand.


1 comment:

  1. Thanks for mentioning me, Holly! I really did like that article. I've been re-reading Parenting With Love and Logic, and really ought to buy it. I came upon one passage and handed it to my husband and said, "Here, recognize anyone?" and he read it. He handed it back a little sheepish. It was the part about rubbing it in when a kid does the wrong thing. He's awful about that some days, if he's tired, and I hate undermining him, but I hate unfairness, too, and round it goes. That said, you're right, we're all on a journey! And as Ray Guarendi says, "You're a better parent than you think!" By the way, he's speaking at our conference here in May. Go to www.nwcatholicconference.org. It is going to be awesome!!


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