Seeking Heaven

I am constantly discouraged by communication. I want it to be perfect and it never is. I try so hard to communicate with my words and my writing. No matter what, I'm misunderstood. I'm not sure why it bothers me so much. It probably comes back to my fear of being lonely. There are some lyrics from a song by a band called Sweet Vine that I often think about: I'm surrounded by a million, but I spend my nights alone. A million sights and sounds around me but I'm bound to the world I know. I have a lot of friends, a wonderful husband, family (including my mom who is always there for me 100% of the time) and extended family. Yet, at the end of the day, I often feel lonely.

My is soul restless until it rests in [God].
~St. Augustine

Won't Heaven be nice?
Communication will be complete.
We'll talk soul to soul.


  1. Holly,

    I think it is your well developed and well informed spirituality that makes you "lonely." While others seem to find their end, and therefore their goal, in children, husband, family and friends, you have stepped ahead and realize that those are gifts from a loving God who desires that we live with Him forever.

    From Sacred Scripture:

    AS a deer longs for flowing streams,
    so longs my soul for thee, O God.
    My soul thirsts for God,
    for the living God.
    When shall I come and behold
    the face of God?
    My tears have been my food
    day and night, while men say to me continually, "Where is your God?"

    These things I remember,
    as I pour out my soul:
    how I went with the throng,
    and led them in procession to the house of God.
    with glad shouts and songs of thanksgiving,
    a multitude keeping festival.
    Why are you cast down, O my soul,
    and why are you disquieted within me?
    Hope in God; for I shall again praise Him,
    my help and my God.

    Psalm 42, vs. 1-6

    Your end is in God and you know it (insert St. Augustine). You necessarily find that at the end of the day, you are still waiting for eternal life with Him, and that is exactly what all of us should be doing.

    As far as the communication issue goes, I suspect you are not even speaking the same language as most people!

    For all Seekers - let us thank God for Holly, who brings us closer to our God through a life lived well and a sharing spirit.

  2. This is exactly what I needed to hear and exactly what I need to remember while I'm on this journey. I've read that Psalm over and over (and have sung it over and over) but I never placed it in this context. I have not been able to make the connection on my own that my lonliness is tied to my desire to be with the "Friend of my soul". Thank you for helping me to see the step in front of me to keep on trudging forward and upward.


Thanks for the comment. I really appreciate it!