Sharing Rooms, Sharing Beds, Sharing Life

We are in a hotel this evening. This will be our first experiment to see how our girls sleep together in a full sized bed. It's what we have at home for them as well. When I tell people our girls share a room and will one day share a bed, sometimes I get a look of disapproval. It is our desire that our girls are close. Early in our marriage, we knew a Catholic family of 8 girls and they all shared beds. Imagine that! This family could have easily had bunk beds but they chose this sleeping arrangement. Although those girls did not exactly like sharing a bed, it was very apparent that they were very close to each other.

It may not have been the sleeping arrangement so much as the family dynamics, but it got my husband and I thinking in this direction. My mom tells me she did not enjoy sharing a room, let alone a bed, with her sister. Yet, in their darkest, most trying days, they held hands together in the dark. They always had each other to lean on and they still do. Plus, my husband works nights. Most nights he is not with me while I sleep. When he is with me, even though we don't talk (or argue) while we sleep, I feel more connected to him when I wake.

So, we'll see how this experiment goes tonight. Now, I'm off to bed as well. We have to rise early to get into Montana for my cousin's wedding. (The Montana state flower is the Bitteroot, it's in bloom this time of year and the picture for this post.)

By the way, if having our girls share a bed causes great division, we are willing to change our mind about it.


  1. Heather YJune 19, 2009

    Siblings seem to navigate to each other and/or their parents bed, so it is almost calming and reassuring to allow the bond. Our two little ones always either end up together with us or with each other. With all the storms we have had lately, the thunder or lightning wakes them and then we all end up together. It is reassuring to me to have my children with me when the neighbor's old tree is swaying over my son's room to the storm, it just makes it a hard habit to break. My physician reassured me that she has not heard of teenagers ever wanting to still sleep in their parent's bed.

  2. Sounds interesting! We have too many people who whack each other in the head around here, but Dominic very much would rather sleep with someone than be in his crib. He keeps trying. But no sleep would happen if I let him. Heck, I have trouble sharing my bed with my husband! But sometimes I find the boys together in bed if Gabe's tummy hurts, and he tells me he sleeps better down there. I'm not letting them do it, though, unless that's how I find them in the morning occasionally. I never had to share a room, and neither did my husband.
    I visited my friend Robin's house the other day. 12 kids in October. Six girls in the master bedroom. Two bunkbed sets, one large bed in the middle, and one portacrib. It's a HUGE master bedroom, by the way. They also have a little boy room with two sets of bunks, and a teen boy room. So 11 kids, 3 bedrooms. Pretty darn roomy, considering. That's because she is an anti-clutter freak. But it's a good thing at their house!
    Have a great trip! I love Montana!

  3. My sister and I shared a bed for a couple of years when we were young and I think it was during that time that we became best friends. My brothers always had bunk beds and though they are close now, for some time they couldn't stand each other. This may have more to do with natural differences in personality, or maybe just a boy/girl thing. Also I don't think this was a matter of deliberate decision by our parents, it was just that we used whatever furniture was given to us or could be attained cheaply. (Pastors of small churches don't exactly have a huge income!)But anyway, I see no problem in having kids share beds when they are young. Do what you think is right for your family.


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