My Time (and lack of it)

I need a lot of sleep. I honestly function the best on ten to eleven hours a night. If I don't get that much, I have to have a nap in the afternoon. When I don't get enough sleep, I start to go crazy. I feel like I'm depressed and that all that I have worked for and all that I do means nothing. I fight with my husband, can barely stand my children, and loathe myself. I have been to the doctor a few times asking for a blood draw to see if I'm anemic, diabetic, if I have thyroid problems, cancer...something that will justify my lack of energy. Nothing has ever turned up.

I was thinking about this reality of my life and had a small epiphany. Lots of moms I know either get up early and have time to plan, pray and be without children. Others I know stay up late and have that extra time. If I'm being good, I go to bed with my children and wake up when they do. I don't have that time.

Today I got an interesting call. The local daycare center called to tell me they had an opening three days a week in the morning. Last year I had inquired on such an arrangement and there were no openings so I forgot about it. At first, I was going to turn down the spot for my two-year-old, but decided to think on it. I've decided, in light of my lack of time without children, I am going to take advantage of the daycare. Hooray!


  1. AnonymousJuly 30, 2009

    Once again, whether we are praying or complaining, God hears us and knows our needs. Enjoy those mornings!

  2. So true! I did not mention in this post that I have been praying and complaining to some kind of solution to my sleep problem. When I got the call this morning, I knew almost immediately that this was a prayer answered. Praise God!

  3. I hope it helps! And I hope it's a great daycare. Having worked in one for two years, I know my oldest loved it, but I also know that what it looks like on the surface is not what it looks like on a daily basis. I imagine in a small town, not corporate, it's probably better.
    Have you tried vitamin D yet? Get some over the counter and try it in the morning for a week. My OB now has a new test for it, that has only been available recently and is more accurate. They don't test enough for deficiency because they don't realize how many of us need it. Totally changed my husband's whole attitude and energy level. I can't have too much or I go go energizer bunny, which progesterone already does to me. :)
    that said, I'm exhausted today!
    Hugs, and hug that baby, too! :)

  4. Meghan RyallAugust 02, 2009

    I think it's so important to take some time for yourself...you devote yourself to your family so much and need to remember yourself as well! I'm looking forward to seeing you next month:)


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