I'm not sure I have any readers left since I've neglected my blogging so much lately. I really had some high ambitions to write almost every day and then my energy was sucked out of me. You can imagine how my cooking has been going since I have no energy. One night dinner consisted of fish sticks, pickles, canned pineapple and olives. It was not a big hit, although I couldn't get enough of the pineapples.
Since I've been "diagnosed" with a hyperthyroid, things have gotten a little better. Partly because I'm more likely to let myself rest through out the day, and mostly because I have stopped beating myself up over my lack of motivation. My mom was telling me about when she was pregnant with me and was so tired and overwhelmed because she had to get Christmas organized. She said a prayer of desperation and knew afterward to only do one thing at a time. She'd bake some cookies and then rest, even though she felt like she could do more. Christmas came and she was completely ready. That's what I've been trying to do as well. Today I did some laundry then rested on the floor for a half hour before starting dinner. I didn't bother with some of the stuff that could or ought to have been done. Eventually, it all got done. Believe it or not, this slow and steady pace is working for me.
I have thought a lot about all the people in the world who have chronic or terminal illnesses. How they must feel to see the world rushing by. How something as simple as making a bed or doing the laundry can become an overwhelming task. For me, even getting ready for the day is a chore and then if I actually have to go somewhere it's so exhausting. I can get so tired some days that I just fall in bed and cry. In those moments when I am feeling so desperate, I say a prayer for those who are experiencing the same, and much worse, as I. I am especially concerned for those who will never have relief. I thank God that hyperthyroidism can be treated and that babies only stay inside the tummy for nine months (...but then there's that whole not sleeping and round the clock attention that newborns need...I'll think about that later).