I've had a few pretty bad days. My husband has been working a lot lately and, although I like the pay check, it's hard to go day after day after day with out much of him around. My girls have both been sick and I even had to keep my 1st grader home from school for a day.
At about 4:00 PM yesterday, I lost it. Monster Mommy emerged and was unleashed. My poor little children ran around as I barked orders and demanded more from them than necessary. I even had them bathed and in their jammies before dinner! Needless to say, they had to change back into clothes to play outside later.
After my rant, I felt so sad, so alone and so worthless. What am I doing? Where is my life going right now? What happened to the me that was so full of life, energy and joy?
I offered up some desperate prayers and decided to call someone. I needed to reach outside of myself for help. First, I called my husband and left a message on his phone. Right after I hung up, my friend called and I was crying. She and I were talking when my husband called me back. I was talking to him, through sobs, when my neighbor knocked on the door with a piece of apple pie. All of this happened within five minutes. With these three small events, my mood was instantly lightened. Then I found out this morning that I had been in the thoughts and prayers of another friend during that same dark and deperate hour.
My conclusion: Even in the midst of a personal crisis and feelings of worthlessness, God is still taking care of me. I am still loved by Him as evident in the people around me who are caring for me.
With this love I will go on.