7.30.2010

Alone


I'm surrounded by a million but I spend my nights alone. There's a million sights and sounds around me but I'm bound to the world I know.
-Sweet Vine (a group that never really hit the big time)
~
Lately, as I begin to fall asleep, I keep imagining all the people across the country who are out camping. They are curled up together in tents and sleeping bags, shuffling through the bushes with flashlights and toothbrushes, and nestled around campfires. Their happy voices echo in my mind and float up into the starry skies with the sparks of their campfires. Yet I think, "each one is alone." Even in the midst of each other, we are alone. Even in the midst of my little family, I am alone. My child sleeping in her bed piled high with her stuffed toys and blankets is alone and may one day feel lonely as I so often have.

It is this very loneliness, in the midst of what should be happiness, that is most real to me. It is my constant companion. However, in that loneliness, I have found God. It is a deep and secret place inside of me that is only mine. It is protected, dark, and comfortable. I used to avoid it, this place where only I can be, until I met God there. Now, whenever I have the chance, I go there. It is there that I find peace.

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