9.22.2010

Steps toward Solutions

I'm still feeling pretty frustrated with parenting in general but have had a few good things happen and the trauma of the past few days is becoming the steps toward a better tomorrow.

Step 1:  I had two phone calls and two friends stop by with words of encouragement plus words from comments on this blog that all put more air in my balloon.

Step 2:  I forcefully changed my attitude.  I made myself smile and be cheerful to the point of being shrill and freaking Little Bear out.  The result was positive and lifted my spirits and the mood of the house slightly.  I thought I might institute a "save it for Saturday" rule whereby I may only complain for a certain amount of time on Saturdays to my husband.

Step 3:  Instead of feeling overwhelmed and frustrated by Grasshopper's crazy behavior, I have taken action instead.  At this moment she is weeding my flower garden.  She must do three days of chores for me (hard labor) without complaint.  Any complaint and she gets another day (so we are actually working on four days of chores right now).  I thought it might do her some good to work out her anger on the flowers rather than the family.

Step 4:  I began reading a book titled Bringing Up Geeks: how to protect you kid's childhood in a grow-up-too-fast world by Marybeth Hicks.  It was recommended to me by another mom (and really cheep on Amazon).  I'm only on page 20 but here are some of the headers I've read through that have inspired me to be strong and stay firm:
Taking Charge: Geeks and Parental Authority
   Obedience is not such bad thing
   We don't lose authority we give it away
   The pitfalls of permissiveness
   Setting limits, defining expectations
All in all, life is getting a little better around here.  The tough moments propel me toward new and better solutions.  Ultimately, my little darlings, as well as I, will be better for it...I hope.

1 comment:

  1. My wife and I have 24 and 21 year old sons, and a 20 year old daughter. Your plight sounds so familiar. If our experience is any guide here's what will happen. 1) You will never see them obey the fifth commandment (Honor thy...mother); 2) you will be constantly complimented about your fine young ones who live their lives around their peers and other adults in a much more mature way than most kids; 3) your friends and even strangers will ask you how you did it. And you'll be thinking, "Did what? Drove them all crazy? Made this whole family insane?" But as you see them grow up, become more mature (other than when interacting with you), and get more and more compliments, you'll realize -- they're never going to understand what you did for them until they are trying to do it for their own children. Take the long view! Never give up. Never give in. Stay lovingly consistent. It will pay off.

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