It's weird for me to even say or write this, but life is so much more fulfilling and less complicated and draining when I strive to be a sort of contemplative-stay-at-home-mom. I'm not running myself ragged anymore with flitting thoughts of this or that. I am focused and my life has purpose. I wash the dishes, do the laundry, make meals, take care of sick kids, change diapers, just as I always have. I just do it with less drama. I do it for Jesus.
It's sort of like labor. When my mind was focused and I let myself feel the pain and almost analyze it, I could stay calm and in control. When I lost my focus, I felt like a wild woman about to tear into the doctors, nurses and my husband. I felt frantic, scared and worried that I could not complete the task at hand.
My "labor" now is nothing new. I am just more focused. When things get especially hard, I try to focus my thoughts on remaining calm and at peace by offering it all to God in prayer.
All my thoughts, works, joys and sufferings I offer as a prayer. When my mind starts to wander and worry, I try to bring it back to a conversation with God. Sometimes I even shut the door to my room and pray until I am calm again and then walk out following Jesus.
A Contemplative-Stay-at-Home-Mom. I like the sound of that! It think I'll write that on the next form that asks for the mother's occupation.