4.26.2018

To Dream in Color

I'm probably going about this the wrong way. I've had such a desire to write lately, spurred on by Jennifer Fulwiler's latest book, One Beautiful Dream: The Rollicking Tale of Family Chaos, Personal Passions, and Saying Yes to Them Both, that I have spent way too much time in front of my computer trying to catch up on lost time. The laundry has piled up, the floor needs to be swept, I've barely gotten food on the table and I think my kids may not remember what a vegetable is since even I only have a vague sense that they still exist. So, it's time. It's time for me to write on this silly blog again. I say silly because it really needs to be updated.

Jen's book is not out until May 1st, but I got a copy because she's my BFF, and also pre-ordered from Barnes and Noble and they sent copies out early (I'm pretty sure Jen doesn't know she's my BFF). It basically told the story of her passion for writing and how she managed to publish a book in the midst of a very busy family life. Although she is Catholic and has a pretty dramatic book about her conversion story that I also loved to read, this book doesn't focus so much on faith as it does on inspiring women (moms) to follow their passions.

I see other moms doing this, following their dreams, and always wonder how they do it. This book helped me to see that to follow my passions, I must be intentional, but also flexible. Family, of course, ought to come first, but that looks different in each family. She also recommends that we moms bring our families into our passions, that the family culture should be one of support. She explains that each person should feel free to pursue what makes them come alive and be a support for one another so all can flourish.

Lately, I would not describe myself as flourishing. My color is more gray than red hot (only one shade of gray in case you wondered). I realize now that I have pushed aside a lot of my personal passions, in order to save up enough energy to keep my family afloat. That strategy has backfired. I think Jen may have a point. In order for me to be the mom I need to be with energy and life, I need to do what I do best. I need to use my gifts. I need to search after my dreams. Then my gray life may have some more color and my family will probably happier for it.



6 comments:

  1. so excited to see you writing! that book sounds (and looks) amazing. i love the burnt turkey on the front. i completely agree with your thoughts here. when i see a woman following her dream there is typically a messy house in the background, kids in dirty clothes, and lots of take out :) i know that when i get a fire in me and chase what i want... the kids are living off cereal and screen time, and the dishes and laundry are piled high. the balance always returns again though. i think that is the important part... the balance. we need breaks from cooking and pristine houses to sink into our passions and refuel our hearts. i am glad that you are making time for it too. don't worry, the housework will still be there when your ready for it ;)

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    1. You are so right that balance is the key. Jen, in her book, describes how she would take large amounts of time off from writing her book in order to tend to her families needs. Some women really enjoy keeping a house clean and orderly and food on the table in an organized and nutritious way and that's great. Sometimes I'm like that, just not all the time. When something grabs my attention and inspires me, the first thing to go is cooking. Cooking does not inspire me and that's ok. That's the hard part, excepting that we moms just cannot do it all. It's probably better to have passion about something than to squeeze yourself to fit into a role that doesn't fit your personality. That being said, I have so much admiration, and at time envy, those moms whose passion it is to cook, clean and make a beautiful home for their families. That's just not the mom I am all the time. My homemaking tasks and inspiration to do them come and go. Jenny, thank you so much for commenting. I felt like this post did not say all I wanted it to in an interesting way. I appreciate your comment because my inspiration starts to dwindle without feedback. :/

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    2. cleaning is the first to go here. i still almost always make food, but that is where all the nachos i've mentioned come into play. i cook for 5 minutes those nights. i am looking forward to reading this book even more now, because it will help give me context for your thoughtful words here, but from what you summarized of it, i think i understand what you're saying. i had a non-flourishing moment earlier this week in which i listed to my friend all the things i wasn't getting done, and she was able to turn it around for me by saying "it's a list of things you want to do, not a list of things you aren't getting done" and it helped me relax a little. it's so easy to judge ourselves, and to look around and think everyone around us has it so much more together than we do, but in reality, i think everyone else is also looking out from their place of chaos and thinking similar things. love you holly!

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  2. So glad to see you post something. I knew you were wanting to write more and I am happy that you are! I think it is a lie women that have been feed to think we CAN do/have it all. I know we have talked about it before, and Rosie from A blog for my mom was just talking about this too. We all have strengths and passions and when we let those fires go out the rest of our life can be a little dark. So keep stoking your writing fire and don't worry your kids will remember what veggies are on Fridays.

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    1. lol! veggies on fridays for the win!

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  3. To Dream in Color. Well put. I personally enjoyed your "only one shade of grey," reference. It gave me a good laugh! Love the writing. I look forward to more of it.

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Thanks for the comment. I really appreciate it!